You feel better after a reading. Then what?

"Thank you, I feel much better."

When I wrote my "notes from the reading table" in June, I put this sentence on the first page, followed by just two words: then what?

Looking at it now, that sounds a bit harsh. As if someone who came for a reading isn't even allowed to breathe a sigh of relief, and has to change their life immediately for it to count.

That's not what I meant.

Sometimes just saying something you couldn't tell your friends takes a lot out of you. Expecting someone to quit their job, break up, or suddenly become good at saying no on the same day is unrealistic. You need some time, and that's normal.

But I still care about the "then what". Because the reading is short, and the thing that worries you is still waiting outside.

Say you want to know whether a job is worth staying in. By the end of our talk we might find that you can cope with being busy; what you can't stand is never knowing if your manager will change their mind again. Work gets overturned halfway, and what was agreed yesterday doesn't count today. And the pay is fine. So you're angry, and at the same time feel you have no right to complain.

This is an invented example. But only once "work is annoying" is described this precisely is there something to talk about.

You could first ask who decides on a given project, keep a record of changes, or look at other jobs. You don't have to pick the bravest answer on the spot. First you need to know what exactly you're putting up with.

I like these moments. The cards are no longer just pictures on the table waiting to be translated. The conversation finally touches real life: an unanswered email, a sentence you can't get out, an expense you haven't worked out yet.

It's also possible that after we talk, you realise you don't want to change anything for now.

That's fine. But I hope it's a decision you've thought about. "I know this place wears me out, but I want to stay until this project ends before looking for the next job." That's very different from telling yourself every day to put up with it a bit longer. In the first, you know what you're waiting for.

So before a session ends, I like to leave a little time to check what you're taking home. Which parts you agree with, which parts aren't like that at all, what you'd like to try, and what you can't do right now.

It doesn't have to wrap up in a neat conclusion every time. Sometimes it's just: "Next time, I want to ask them about this face to face."

Then start there.

The work situation in this piece is a hypothetical example made up for illustration, not a client's case.