How to ask tarot about love:
separate "them" from "me"

"Do they actually like me or not?" This question often comes to the reading table. You can ask it, but quite often you feel just as muddled afterwards.

Why "Do they love me?" is a hard question to ask

The cards let us talk about what the other person may care about and where the relationship is stuck right now. But another person's feelings, in the end, have to be confirmed from what they say and do, and from your conversations. Leave it all to one card, and whether the answer is good or bad, it's hard to feel settled.

Questions that give you more to work with usually bring the focus back to yourself: what do I want from this relationship? What have I seen? What can I do next?

How to ask in different situations

Something's there, but undefined

• In how we are together right now, what do I care about most?
• If I want the relationship to move forward, what can I do first?
• Which signals might I be reading too quickly?

Wanting to get back together after a breakup

• Is it this person I miss, or those days?
• Have the reasons we split up changed?
• If I get back in touch, what do I want to check first?

If you draw a card that brings up the past, like the Six of Cups, don't rush to read it as "they'll come back". This piece explains more fully.

Together, but arguing often

• What do we argue about most? What does that mean to me?
• What have I never said?
• How can I tell them the way I'd like us to be together?

Wanting to break up, but finding it hard to let go

• Which things make me want to leave?
• If I stay, what changes do I need to see?
• If I decide to leave, what do I need to arrange first?

If you've been worn out for a long time, read You're already worn out. Should you keep going?; if you often wonder whether there's someone better, see this piece.

Two simple love spreads

It doesn't need to be complicated. Three cards can cover a lot. Write the question down before you draw.

To practise more spreads, see the spread diagrams.

Some things the cards aren't suited to answer

Who the other person is with now, what's on their phone, what they think of someone else: I won't pry into private matters like these that aren't yours, and I won't decide for you whether to break up. What the cards can do is help you see your own situation a bit more clearly.

When you come to talk about love

Bring something that happened recently, such as a message left on read, an argument, or a hope you can't put into words. Starting from something concrete is easier to talk about than starting from "do they not love me any more?"

Common questions